there is no ending to this state. Me has been going through this for couple of years. disability has turned illness into laziness. it has taken short time of past to make the future larger and occupied. there is a great field after harvest that is not done yet. there is plow but there is no horse. you may ask why not do it. Me has started to make the field but the plow is left behind. crazy how the need of control enslaves you in the middle of chaos. come on Me. you will do it.